Jack handy quotes6/1/2023 ![]() It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see. ![]() Whenever I hear the sparrow chirping, watch the woodpecker chirp, catch a chirping trout, or listen to the sad howl of the chirp rat, I think: Oh boy! I'm going insane again. If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape so as not to frighten the dogs. ![]() He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me. I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it. If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something. I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves. Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man. I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do. Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway that's my point. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur. I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back. Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.įor mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness? There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.Ĭonsider the daffodil. If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not. One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stake. If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you. I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.īroken promises don't upset me. If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. Well, while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.Īs a young boy, when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school, you wonder if you should go home and change, but be late for school, or go to school the way you are dirty and soaking wet. Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it. I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground.
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